


but you - you were my disease

by toudoroki (orphan_account)



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: 2parkss2017, Fluff, Hanahaki AU, M/M, Mention of Death, pinch of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-15 10:32:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13029177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/toudoroki
Summary: it only began happening after he developed a crush on a boy with a boyfriend, but, one day, it just, stopped.





	but you - you were my disease

**Author's Note:**

  * For [junsjing (ephemereal)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemereal/gifts).



i

the first time it happens, it was in class. the professor was speaking about whatever - he believes it to be something about shoes, he was ranting again - and woojin, out of nowhere feels something in his throat. it's more than prodding at where he breathes and making him cough uncontrollably. when it just happens once he doesn't think too much of it, he just continues scribbling something in his notebook until the professor starts showing the slides for notes.

he coughs again, and again, and again.

he knows he's not sick or anything, plus he knows there's something in his throat because it's just that easy to tell if he's honest. and after he drinks his entire water bottle and it only seems to get worse, he decides for the bathroom. since the professor doesn't really care he just quietly leaves the room, keeping a hand over his mouth as he indiscriminately begins heading for the bathroom. once there he shoves back an empty stall and falls to his knees, letting his gags and coughs filter out — not caring who would be in there. there's a small whimper until he can feel something rise up his throat, but it's not acidic or just plain watery, it's soft, and solid. he gags one last time before something from his tongue falls into the toilet bowl.

it's a petal, woojin notes, it's a strong coral color at the tip and a slow fade into paperwhite - not to mention it's decently sized. and of course, it had to happen to him during one of his final classes of the day. he knew eventually it had to happen to him, this mess of a disease, it happens to a lot of people, but some just can't love. he's not sure if he feels pity or jealousy for those people.

all he knew is that he was screwed.

ii

when he got home, he didn't feel any less better, after his classes he has his two jobs to attend to that only make him feel worse and after coughing so much his boss sent him home with a paycheck for the week, no matter how many times he protested that he was fine.

but it was obvious they knew what happened, he could see it in their eyes the way they all looked at him with pity and sadness.

the disease he had, to him, was — normal, to say the least. he's heard so many people that died from it just because they couldn't let those feelings simmer, they didn't have money, and they just wanted it. they wanted to die loving that person, no matter if it were love sided or not. maybe to him, it was a little stupid of them, but he had never been in love until then, hadn't realized how painful and addicting it was.

he was wrapped in a fluffy cream colored blanket when he finally got into his bed, putting off all the assignments until his heart can stop racing and his mind stops going into dark places that it shouldn't be going to. he doesn't have much time, a week maybe, and then his breathing can stop and he can just sleep peacefully, not caring that he didn't tell the person he loved that he did, and that he was going to be dead soon all because he was too careless for his own good and his feelings took the best of him.

but in the mean time — his eyes are getting heavy.

iii

he can sometimes see ong by the grass with daniel, they had become boyfriends a little after woojin developed this stupid - big - crush on ong, feeding him rice or just them both laughing, he has coughing fits sometimes, just looking at them sometimes he tears up a little bit, either from watching them or the coughing. but he's happy for his friend, how could he not be?

when daniel or ong wave him over, he can't bare it - pursing his lips tightly and shaking his head before he runs off.

iv

when woojin met jihoon, very properly since they really only had one class together and a semester of lab, he was kind of glad, more than glad.

he was a little selfish when it had come to hanging out with jihoon, one of the only main reasons at first was to just use him as a distracting tool from ong, maybe he wouldn't just suddenly stop breathing every once in awhile, maybe he wouldn't be in love anymore.

it worked, for the time being, every time they met in the coffee shop woojin worked at, they would chat about whatever, one of them always had something to do, but they still talked like they knew each other well. woojin enjoyed their conversations and he only began to crave more and more, just the look of jihoon, and just to talk to him, every time he did he was happy, he was genuinely happy.

jihoon was too, he was always smiley when he was with woojin, he would grin with his teeth and his eyes wouldn't disappear but they'd almost become — shy, if you will. but it was kind of depressing to watch him put up a finger and pull a napkin from his pocket before he coughs into it and woojin can see a glance of a petal in it before he was tucking it back into his jeans away from view. woojin's smile kind of faded at the look of him doing so.

they met up a couple weeks after finals in the afternoon, woojin was technically off shift but he liked being on the other side of the stool with jihoon in front of him so he just continued working even if his co workers told him to beat it already. but he didn't care, he'd wait forever if it really had met jihoon was on his way just to doodle things in his notebook and listen to woojin rant or just talk in general to him, the occasional questions.

he arrived late, a little later than usual but woojin didn't really mind, he was there.

"jihoon!" he gives a weak smile in return to the shout of his name but he gladly returns it, sitting in the normal stool that's in front of the counter. "did you oversleep again? barely woke up?" he gives a funny snort and reaches across to shove him slightly.

"yes, and i kind of have a headache so if you have like advil or something that'd be fucking amazing." woojin tenses at the curse, realizing he's never really heard it from jihoon's mouth but he nods, reaching into his coat pocket for a bag of advil pills. "woojin — you're insane."

"i get migraines in here often what do you want?" he laughed, watching jihoon swallow the pill with the water bottle he usually brings. he’s kind of surprised he just takes it like it’s nothing, jihoon doesn’t question it really.

woojin kind of sorta developed this addiction to the coffee powder, the smell of it, coffee in general really. in turn — he tends to get headaches more often and painful ones at that, more because of the disease too.

"is it from me?" jihoon questions kind of chuckling at his own suggestion.

"maybe, maybe not." he giggles back.

v

woojin hates seeing jihoon get sick even more, hates how his skin becomes a paler color and how his mood dampens even more. sometimes gripping his chest in hopes to help him breathe when he can't.

his bags get worse as the days go by and woojin just wants to see him like he did before, happy.

it was definitely a slow transition — a painful one for both of them really. woojin started to lose his energy and he took more little breaks to just breathe, and jihoon visibly got more confused from his work and more headaches. often woojin can notice it and drops two advil pills on his paper and his water bottle in case he might need it. he gives a weak smile, and it could look more genuine if he didn’t seem like he stayed up every night.

he guesses — in a way it’s nice they’re both friends. they didn’t have to worry about anyone dying first really, if it did happen the other would die after quickly — a little gory but the unfortunate truth.

it was their fate — in a way.

vi

it was a couple weeks later woojin's disease began clearing up, a little bit, little by little he coughed less every day.

he was kind of happy, kind of surprised, he really didn't have many lingering feelings for ong though, but who knew who he did for — maybe no one. maybe he was finally free, but he could also be in love with someone, someone he was close to. or no one at all. the idea was kind of scary really, he didn't _want_ to fall in love with anyone else, he got lucky but he isn't sure about a second time.

he didn't really want to believe that yet - he's happy with what he has.

vii

"jihoon!" his friend startles at the sound of woojin's voice, he's glad to see he's more giddy, he can respond to things better now that he wasn't coughing into his palm every two seconds.

he either got surgery or someone returned his feelings - in a way, both are something special. from he might've taken the more selfish route or he was really just that lovable. "woojin!" he exclaims, its one of the only real times he's greeted him back giddily, not with a tired expression or with a gloomy one. he's content - they're both content. "um, i wanted to talk to you about something." woojin happily encourages the younger to continue speaking, making a caramel macchiato in the meantime as he hummed to jihoon's words. "um, so, well you know i never did tell you who i loved?" woojin nodded, wiping the excess liquid from the side of the cup. there's a pause that woojin sits in for a little bit before jihoon whispers something. "it was you."

he paused, his heart suddenly choking him and he can't - can't breathe. "but your - and i-" he stutters, almost dropping the cup he held. "but i don't- this is just-"

"woojin, i, i'll give you time." he smiled. woojin returning it hesitantly and watching jihoon hop off the stool and push back the door before he runs, runs to wherever he needs to go.

viii

woojin thought about it all more often after, more jihoon, just him.

no matter how many fucking times he tried to contact him, it never seemed to go through, he would never answer - rightfully so woojin guesses. he could tell jihoon was just scared. but woojin didn't care that much really, he guesses he really did love jihoon and obviously if his disease was gone then there was nothing for him to be worried about.

when he got back to work after a couple days, jihoon returned happily, but didn't bring up the topic of love at all. "jihoonie?" he hummed, doodling again in his notebook. "i love you." he sings, watching jihoon freeze and glance up.

"i, um, love you too." he murmurs, giving a bashful smile and avoiding eye contact. woojin just kindly laughs and ruffles his hair softly.

ix

woojin tried not to bring it up that often, jihoon didn't seem comfortable with the topic and he wasn't bringing it up for - probably a good reason. even if he really wanted to just, talk to him about it, like they’re supposed to."hey woojin? lean over?" 'lean over' was their code to lean over the counter and bump their noses together so they can tell each other something quietly - usually anyways. sometimes woojin whispered it, sometimes jihoon.

woojin's more than surprised to instead be tugged into a kiss.

well - he wasn't complaining anyways.

x

"hey daniel?"

"mm?"

"i think im in love with jihoon"

"yeah - i think we all knew you dork.”


End file.
